However, if you were to ask me what I think my personal theme song is (and those of you playing along at home already know what I'm going to say.)
It is Smooth, by Santana (featuring Rob Thomas)
Not only does the music resonate with me but the actual song is from a time in my life when I felt, well, Smooth. (Not like I just shaved my legs smooth, although that is nice too) but like my life was smooth. I probably looked the best I have in my life. My salary was good and rising steadily. I liked my job. I did interesting things and went on trips. I drove to work drinking Starbucks.
When I'm not feeling so Smooth, it makes me feel Smooth.
I've been known to play it over and over and over.....It's a quick pick-me-up.
Deanna and I have this friend who has a friend who is well over 50 and always wears leather pants to our friend's Christmas party. Denna and I always mention this to each other. Like, why won't this woman give up those leather pants. We often refer to her as "Leather Pants Woman" (In reality we are probably jealous that this woman is rocking the leather pants better at 55 than we would be at 38 if we were wearing leather pants.)
Smooth is my version of leather pants.
Of course when I'm really down in the dumps I can't listen to it because it makes me feel really Un-Smooth if you know what I mean. In fact, for much of the last year of stay-at-home-mommyhood I've been feeling pretty un-smooth. I mean where is that smooth gal? I know she's in there, maybe hiding behind the compost pile or something.
Don't get me wrong, I've loved being home, choose this path, have gotten the chance to breath and spend time with my daughter that I will never regret, and among other things, built a compost pile. For some reason though, 38 was beginning to feel really old. (If you are over 38 don't kill me for saying that. If you are considerably under 38 you probably think it DOES sound old. And BTW, I only have a few more months of 38, I'm going to say it as many times as I can...) There are tomes that could be written about motherhood and age and women. I don't need to re-write it here.
Tonight, on the way home I listened. And I realized it didn't make me feel un-smooth. And it didn't make me feel old.
I may be Little House on The Prairie on the outside, but on the inside, I'm Smooth.
Or at least on my way again.....
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly" -Anonymous