Thursday, August 12, 2010

Parenting Woes, Cat Gender & A New Look for The Blog

Camp News
So my daughter didn't like camp this week.
Look at those droopy shoulders.....

That's ok, no one is going to like everything. I know that. She has her reasons, I understand them and respect them.

Tomorrow is the day that they get ready for a party and the parents come for the last 1/2 hour of class to show what they have done. She's been busy working on craft items all week long and told me today she doesn't want any of them. (That's ok, I know what some of them are and I'll be happy to keep them!)

 At the end of the day today she cried and asked that she not have to go tomorrow.

And I have no idea what to do about that.

On one hand, we want to raise her not to be a quitter. To finish what she starts. To show up when she's supposed to. To fulfill her responsibilities.

On the other hand, If I were taking a class of some kind and it didn't agree with me (For the same reasons she's given me) I would stop going.  I wouldn't force it. Life is too darn short and busy to spend it doing things that don't resonate with you. I feel like my leisure activities are mine alone and I get the right to decide if they nurture me or not. (This class is not nurturing her. Don't get me wrong, it's not harming her at all.)But as an adult in her position, I would stop going. In my eyes this does not make me a quitter. It means I know myself and what's good for me.

Does letting her decide to skip the last day empower her to make decisions for herself about her own happiness or does it mean she's going to throw up her hands every time she doesn't like what she's doing. Sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to do. Is it better to get her to understand that now or is the world a harsh place that she's going to have to deal with anyway and so what if she wants to skip the last class of a camp she doesn't like?!?!? I have no good answer for myself on this.

We're leaning towards having her go anyway in case you are wondering. But it does kind of make me feel like a hypocrite.

Cat News

We've officially welcomed our GIRL kitty Amelia into the family. Ameila, after Amelia Earheart because the cat was lost without a trace for HOURS the other day. We finally concluded that our daughter must have let her out after searching the entire house MANY times. Just when I was done crying she sauntered into the kitchen and was all "Here I am." about it. Bitch.

But she's actually really my kitten somehow. (Seriously those of you who know me, who would think I'd be uttering those words.) and she's a doll-Exploring daredevil that she is.

Blog News

Look for a new blog theme next week! I'm getting tired of my current theme and haven't been sticking to it anyway. I'll still be doing the Adam posts but eveything else will be a little different.


Karley Ziegler Mott said...

I love the name of your new cat!

As for Emma, that is a toughie. We have been there before with Nick and the first couple experiences, we made him stick it out. Now if it isn't right for him, we let him (if it isn't something he *must* do) decide.

I'm eager to see your new look when I return from vacation!

Anonymous said...

Personally, I would let her stay home. I imagine she gave it her best and perhaps it was really difficult for her to admit she doesn't like it, knowing how much you love everything about it. I would honor the braveness to admit defeat, that too takes courage. If she was a quitter she would stop going without having any good reason to do so, just because, well, she doesn't feel like it. If something truly goes against her grain, she is not quitting, in my opinion, but learning about herself.
By the way, I love the name. Amelia. Wonderful!

Raven said...

I don't have kids, so I KNOW that I really don't know anything about parenting. But I totally get your dilemna. How to raise kids that have critical thinking skills, can question & find their own path, without raising mini-anarchists who can't fit into society at all. It's a tough one. As a philosophical idea, I think I agree with sending her anyway and that not being hypocritical.

While she may have valid reasons that you'd use as an adult to quit, kids aren't always able to quit things (like school) even when they don't like them. (Adults also can't quit work.) So, if it's just one more day & it won't hurt, make her go. The lesson to choose leisure activities like an adult will come later. That's just my opinion.

Meredith said...

First of all, Amelia is adorable!!! And I totally remember the times of kitten jumping on my head all night. Enjoy the cuteness!

It is hard to say about the camp because I don't know if you signed her up for it thinking she would like it or if it was something that she picked herself. If it was something that you picked, I think that you should let her stay home (a little late, maybe). Not becasue I think you are a bad camp-picker at all, but because it seems like she stuck it out for as long as she could and she expressed to you that she did not like it. You did not say that she had a tantrum about going or anything like that so I am assuming that she came to you rationally.
But if is was something she picked, then I think she must follow through. Even if her reasons were rational, she picked the camp and i think it might tell her that quitting is ok if she does not have to finish.
Still a hard choice either way since there are so many pros and cons.
Good luck!!!

PS - Was Laura Day's everything you hoped it would be?? I liked your Dean interview!

Christine said...

Hey Meredith-Thanks for the feedback on the Dean interview. We had a really nice time at the event as well.

So it happened that my daughter stayed home. When she woke up I asked her if she was going to camp and she responded "" It was rather comical.

I did, in fact, pick the camp (with her approval) so I did feel like it was something she cold choose not to do. And I worried she might feel sad not going. NOT AT ALL.

Thanks everyone for your well thought out and insightful comments. I really appreciated them all!

The Fine Art of Motherhood said...

Love the new look!! Did you create the banner yourself? Looks great!

Christine said...

Yes, I did! Thanks! I will email you where I did it because I think you wold like it. I have a new "theme" for the blog and I was going to write about it tonight but I'm kind of tired and off to bed early.

The Fine Art of Motherhood said...

Ooh, thanks! I would love to make one if I can! I like everything about my blog except the actual header -- boring... Can't wait to read about your new theme!