Sunday, January 3, 2010

Scrambled Eggs


Yup, this post is really about scrambled eggs. I didn't use that title as a pithy little intro about my biological clock or anything like that. I'm really talking about chicken eggs....

I make really great scrambled eggs. Jen thinks I make the best scrambled eggs ever and lets me make them whenever we see each other. Or perhaps it's that fact that I'm critical about the scrambled egg endeavors of others and she just doesn't  want to be bothered with my bitching.

Ok, I know there are other things in the world that one might want to brag about. Harder more complicated things to cook.  This might seem like a pretty small accomplishment, almost not worth mentioning. Scrambled eggs. But a lot of people get them wrong.

I'm not one of them.

There are a few key things that you must and must not do and I am going to share these with you today.

Scramble your eggs with a little water. I mean like a teaspoon per egg (not like the one in your silverware drawer, like a real teaspoon-you don't need to measure this-just be aware of this. Of course if you have no clue what a real teaspoon of water looks like you may want to check it out.) Now just mix it all up. Don't beat the hell out of them. You don't need to totally incorporate your white into your yoke. Gently is your key word here. Use a fork. Don't be a spaz.

Melt some butter. Ok this is important. I use a stainless steel pan so I need to do this. Otherwise the eggs stick like crazy in it. But even if you use non-stick, MELT SOME DAMN BUTTER IN IT. And I mean REAL butter. Forget the non-stick spray. That is why your eggs suck.

I'm going to take a small aside and talk about butter for a minute. Most of you know I love butter. You know what-Life is way to short to use crappy margarine. Really people. Butter is not going to kill you. Neither is real cream in your coffee for that matter. It's the other crap you eat that might kill you, but butter won't be the culprit. Trust me, my father had a heart attack and a quadruple bypass and eats margarine and those flavored fat free coffee creamers.  That didn't help him....It won't help you. Enjoy your life a little more. Eat some butter.

So back to your pan with some melted butter. Use enough so your eggs don't stick. I use about med high heat. Pour the eggs in and let them set for 20-30 seconds. I like a heat resistant spatula for this next part.  Gently fold the eggs over on themselves. Keep folding. Don't get all crazy and stir them around. You'll end up breaking them apart too much like that. Again, gentle.....

Ok here is the CRUCIAL step. Just BEFORE you feel the eggs are done. Like you think "These eggs are almost done." At that point take the eggs OFF the heat. Then fold them over again. The eggs will finish cooking in the pan. You won't be eating runny eggs. I promise. If you wait until the eggs are done then you will over cook them. They will be hard and dry and you'll have to eat them with burnt toast with margarine and coffee with fake cream in it.... (and I do know so many of my  friends use this creamer, don't worry. I still love you. I can even find pleasure in it myself sometimes...I just prefer the real thing.)

Now another step for the more advanced. If you want cheese in your eggs, you NEVER, EVER, EVER mix the cheese into the eggs when you scramble them up. Put the cheese into the eggs at the time that you take the eggs off the heat. Just fold it all in. There is no way that your cheese needs to cook for as long as your eggs do. Additionally, some cheeses will give off a lot of water and you'll end up with a runny mess if you add the cheese and eggs to the pan from the beginning. Just don't do it. You might as well start from scratch if you do.

Add salt and pepper after the eggs are done. Not before they are cooked.

If you want to add veggies, cook them up before you add the eggs, unless we are talking spinach and then add that with some feta cheese at the cheese time mentioned above.

It's all really about the butter and the heat, use them both well.

Happy Eating!

15 comments:

Anja said...

OMG this is EXACTLY how I make my eggs. I can't eat them any other way. One small thing... I do take out the snots - the while umbilical cords attached to the yokes. So good and fluffy and even attractive! I too live with real butter. Real ingredients don't make people sick, fake ones do.

Christine said...

Oh yes! Someone to endorse my technique! It does make the best eggs! And they are nice and fluffy-I forgot to mention that!

Kristin said...

Okay just the other day I was making eggs for my family and turn to my husband and say "I really need to go online to find out how to make the perfect eggs". Apparently I don't need to do any searching it was laid (no pun intended) out right here for me. ;) Thanks I can't wait to try scrambling.

Christine said...

One of my hidden talents Kristin. You can tell Micheal I've just impacted his life positively once again. (and I think it's been like 2 weeks since I mentioned his name on this blog) Better scrambled eggs for the rest of his life.... This ought to rate a little work around the house....

Christine said...

And that would be work around my house...

Stephanie Draven said...

I have been making eggs wrong my entire life.

Christine said...

Don't worry! This is an easy remedy!

Kristin said...

Hmm I'm not sure if this particular technique will qualify for doing some work around your house unless I get up early each morning before he heads off to work to make these fabulous eggs then yeah I could see it happening. ;)

Christine said...

Well Kristin, your husband is a hard working man. I personally feel he deserves a hot meal before he makes his way out the door in the morning (Is that working??)

At the very least I'll sign up to make him a hot breakfast any morning that he wants to come and work over here....Ok that sounded bad-But you can tell him that because it will make him cackle....

Kristin said...

You're really working it aren't you! (I'll be sure to pass it on though.)

Kristin said...

Well I made them and they came out fabulous. I have two questions:

1. Could I use milk instead of water?
2. Why do you season after cooking?

Christine said...

Glad you liked them.

1) I don't know. I'm sure I've used milk before but it's such a little amount of water that I probably would not be bothered to get the milk out. And I think (although I don't know why I think this, that the water makes a fluffier egg.)

2) A few reasons. The first one sounds a little OCD. I like the seasoning on the eggs and not in them. I like the taste of salt on my eggs, not salty eggs...Does that make sense? Also, I don't prefer pepper on mine. Finally, I don't know how much salt the rest of the people eating eggs want to use so I leave that up to the person eating them. It seems weird to make a salting decision before they are cooked.

Salt in some things, brings out the flavor. So in some recipes a tsp of salt or whatever works to kind of "activate" the flavor. For me, in this particular food, it's just a condiment. And I prefer people to put on their own condiment.

Christine said...

Although I will admit that Jen told me a few days ago that she makes delicious eggs with half & half and cooks them over low heat so maybe the water thing doesn't matter so much.

Kristin said...

Thank you it all makes sense to me. I think I'll try the milk the next time and then compare.

Christine said...

Let me know!