Thursday, February 17, 2011

Back to Work Mommy Musings

As many of you know, I've recently started a new job.

While I had been easing back into the world of work earlier this past summer, I now work every day. 3 days in the office and 2 mornings from home. Sometimes at night from home. I have the afternoons of those 2 other days off to spend with my kindetgartener.

And while 2 afternoons sounds like a lot to some poeple. It's a big change for my girl and I.

I wind up doing a lot of laundry then too....

Man, working Mommies, I salute you.

This is not easy.....

Except for a horrible 8 months when I worked as a part time project manager (BIG MISTAKE...I was a hot mess while doing it.) from the time my daughter was 4 months old to a year, I have been at home with her.

At the time I choose the thing that was fleeting and precious. The time I wasn't going to get to replace.
I remember having lunch with my ex-boss on my very last day and telling him that I knew what I was going to do in the short term (sleep and go to Florida) and what I was going to be doing in the long term-say 4 years out (finding employment again) but was kind of fuzzy about the middle. This blog actually chroniclews a lot of what I did with that time...

But what I can hardly believe is that the time went so fast. Like all of the sudden it was all over. The many endless seeming days were not as endless as I thought. Here I am in the world of work again with narry a diaper or pre-school committee to worry about... SO FAST, like I blinked and it was over.....There are no more diapers and pre-school committees in this house anyway... (Oh I do love fastening a nice clean diaper onto a clean baby butt!)

So far I've experienced the first time my child got sick without me there. She was cold in the morning (and heck, our old house IS cold in the morning....And we're cheap with the heat to boot) I pretty much ignored it and told her to put on a sweater. Later my SIL who watches her one afternoon a week in our home called to tell me she got off the bus with a feaver... And that all was well... and that I didn't have to come home....

Gulp.....

That was very weird.
Then she had a day off from school for Parent/teacher conferences and I arranged for her to spend the entire day with my parents (she usually spends only 1/2 day with them) No biggie. I mentioned it in an offhanded way and that poor little face when she found out that I wasn't spending it with her...I think this one made me feel even worse. It made me think of all of the nice warm mornings that we've spent the past 5 winters in our jammies. And I was missing one of the only ones I'll have this year.... The next conference day off I arranged to work a different day. I'm really fortunate that my work is flexible like that.

And so over the past few days I've read most of my blog again, missing those times with my teeny tiny child...

But while I was home I also missed those time at work.

I tend to suffer from too much nostalia over just about everything.....

My new office is quiet, (and I like that). I've been out to lunch with co-workers, I'm doing many new things. My house is messy and I miss making my own yogurt. Oh sure I could still make my own yogurt. I'm just too tired sometimes. I miss all the time with my girl. I miss my afternoon nap. I wear cute shoes again. Did I mention my new office is quiet and I like it?

And sometimes, as I drive to work with a good cup of coffee with the sun shining and reflecting on the snowy fields I pass on the way to work, I'm almost giddy with anticipation and happy to be going where I'm going.
Sometimes getting out of the house feels so good again....

We're all adjusting.

PS-edited to add that if some of this sounds like complaining, it's not. I'm very lucky to get to work from home with the schedule that I have. It's nice not going to work every day even if I'm working every day. It's just new territory for us and we're adapting as we go. It's conflicting. It's good. It's exciting and scary and makes me miss home and want new things all at once.

And I DO know that I'm such a baby when I miss my nap.

2 comments:

The Fine Art of Motherhood said...

It's tough being a working mom - that's for sure! Good for you for making the choice to stay home for so long, and lucky you that you were able to make it work! I feel fortunate to at least have every Friday off with my girls -- AND a job with flexibility and lots of vacation. I try to make a point of taking time off for school things whenever I can, or surprising the girls by taking off on one of their vacation days. I try not to beat myself up about the time away from them -- they are with family when I'm not there, and they have great fun and probably appreciate me more at the end of the day when I get home. And I try to make the most of the time that we are together! And it's good for your daughter to see you happy in your job -- she'll grow up seeing that she should pursue her dreams and do something that makes her happy!

~Ellie Kings~ said...

I can relate to new changes, even if they're not the same circumstances. It sounds like you have a great relationship with your baby. It's the little things that mean so much. Have a great weekend Christine. (hugs)