The other night at garden club I was talking to 2 of my girlfriends about someone. It was someone whom we all know in the same capacity-None of us are closer to this man than any of the others. We aren't close personal friends with him. Between the three of us we came up with the following opinions:
-He's gay (he's married so this one is a guess on the person's part who thought this)
-He's a hottie
-He's a pervert
I could hardly believe we were talking about the same person. How could 3 people see someone so completely different?
We tend view people based on who we believe them to be. At least for me, this is based on the person's actions and personality. Rarely do we consider that they are this way to us because of who we are.
I'm a very concrete thinker so the idea that someone might appear a certain way because of me is something I really need to think about in order to wrap my arms around it. I like to call a spade a spade. I like black and white. I don't trust gray. I like knowing who I'm dealing with. Friend or Foe? I quickly make decisions and form opinions. Those opinions and perceptions don't change much. This has caused me to hang onto people for much longer than I should have in some instances and has probably caused me to pass over someone whom I should have given a second look to.
Maybe this is all elementary stuff to those of you more empathy oriented than I am but this is really food for thought for me.