December 23rd-5 Years Old

My baby girl is 5 years old today.  Actually I think that still pretty much makes her a baby.  But she told me she's a big girl now. She said she'll make her own lunch from now on (except for grilled cheese because she can't use the stove.)

You know how everyone tells you that it goes by so fast. Well it does.  Sometimes...... Sometimes 5 years has gone by rather slowly.

-Like the time she was around 6 weeks old and wouldn't stop crying (ALL DAY) so I took her out for a 2.5 hour drive around my town drinking decaffe coffee and listening to a book on tape. (I can still tell you what book it was. When the coffee ran out I just drove through Dunkin Donuts again) At that point it seemed to me that we had signed up for a lifelong commitment without actually reading the fine print....

 This is actually a big Christmas stocking but she was so tiny we had to wrap her up in it instead.

-Being up all night long. Breastfeeding and watching movies. Feeding her every 1.5-2 hrs. That particular exercise in sleep deprivation damn near killed me....

-Or being up all night being thrown up on, on Christmas Eve, so much so, the next day you think you still smell like vomit, even though you don't.

-5 minute time outs that end up taking 35 minutes. 35 L O N G   M I N U T E S.

-The power struggle over getting into the bathtub or dressing oneself even though we are completely capable of doing it ourselves....

Then later, after the struggle is over. (Because I never can quite remember it in the moment.) I remember that someday will be the last time that she wants me to dress her. 

That is the kind of thing that gets to me.The kind of thing that makes me want to open my eyes and take note of every little thing. All of the things that I just didn't know that it was the last time I was going to get to experience.

The last time she breastfed.
The last batch of baby food that I made her
Her last bottle
The last time I fed her from a spoon.
The last diaper or pull-up that I changed. (I never minded poopy diapers.)
The last walk we took where she was still in a stroller.
The last time she said Tapana for Bannana.
The last time we went to story time at the library. 

The passing of those things is what makes me feel like time is going by quickly.